Tom's Nightmare
by Twiki99
Summary: Ten days after Tom Paris disappears on an away mission, the delta flyer is found drifting in space. What Voyager finds is not what they expected. Will they be able to help Tom back to his life or is it too late?   Feedback is welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Tom's Nightmare  
>Author: Twiki99<br>Date Posted: July, 2011  
>Rating: K<br>Codes: T. Paris  
>Archive: Here anywhere else. Please ask first<br>Disclaimer: _Paramount and Viacom own Star Trek and all Characters of Star Trek. The story is mine. I am not making a dime on this. I am doing this and other stories for purely mine and others enjoyment._

Summary: Ten days after Tom Paris disappears on an away mission, the delta flyer is found drifting in space. What Voyager finds is not what they expected. Will they be able to help Tom back to his life or is it too late? Feedback is welcome.

Chapter 1

The Delta Flyer had just vanished before their eyes. The bridge was suddenly silent, and you could hear the sound of the different consoles as they lit up and functioned as they normally did. Harry was just staring at the view screen as if he could still see the Flyer and just shuttered. His best friend had just disappeared, and was gone. Where, he didn't know.

Tom had been sent out to check on a disturbance that they had encountered, and it had been decided that he would go alone, with Voyager close by. He had been taking readings when suddenly, the Flyer had just winked out. He was gone. Now Captain Janeway said

"What happened? Where did the Flyer go?"

Harry began scanning and said

"Sorry Captain, there is no sign of the shuttle or Tom..."

He trailed off, as B'Elanna was on the bridge, and her face showed shock. She had just seen her husband disappear, and didn't know what to think.

"Any sign of debris from the Flyer?"

Chakotay was now looking at the screen next to his command chair, but could not pick anything up...no debris or any indication that the shuttle had blown, or broke up. Harry was busy looking at the screen on his console, reading the information that was coming across his screen. After a moment, he looked up and said

"No sir, no debris or anything that would suggest that there was an explosion...but I have found a trail of sorts..."

He paused and both the captain and commander looked at him. He had a frown on his face as he continued

"It seems to be similar to that displacement wave that brought us to the DQ, but..."

Now Chacotay said

"We didn't pick up anything on long range sensors did we?"

"No, but what if that disturbance we picked up was a displacement wave?"

"And why didn't it take us too?"

Wondered B'Elanna, as she moved towards the helm, a thoughtful look on her face. She looked up at Harry as he looked back at her and saw the look of hope on her face. She was clinging to the hope that Tom was out there somewhere alive.

Harry began checking his readings again and the captain had come over to watch him.

"Look, see that?"

He said as he pointed to the screen

"It seems as if the wave was concentrated directly at the shuttle, that may be why we were spared. I think I can trace it so we should be able to follow the Flyer to wherever it was taken."

He began sending the coordinates to the helm...Tom's place. He shook his head to get that thought out of his head.

The captain nodded and said to Ensign Baytart

"Mr. Baytart, set course for the coordinates to follow the shuttle...warp six."

"Aye captain."

Baytart set course and thought that it was not the same without the chief pilot on board. Tom had become a intricate part of the crew and had in the last six years been accepted by the whole crew. All of the pilots under him looked up to and admired him. He always had time for them, if they had any problems, he'd be the first to help. And he was always challenging them with new and harder flight sims. As he sat there now, he saw the looks of worry on the bridge crew's faces, and he knew that they would do anything to get the pilot back. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

It had been ten days, and they had follow the trail of the wave. They had been able to trace it back to a planet that was off the beaten track and several light years off there current path to the AQ. So far, they had come up with no trace of the shuttle or Tom. The senior staff was beginning to assemble for the morning meeting. Harry and B'Elanna were the last to enter, and it was obvious they had been having a heated conversation. B'Elanna was angry and Harry seemed a little sober. Now they took their seats, and B'Elanna refused to look at Harry.

The Captain began the meeting as she said

"Mr. Kim, are there any changes in the sensor readings?"

"No, captain, we are still following the trail, but it's fading. The only thing I can determine is that it did come from the planet...but there is no sign of the flyer or Tom."

He looked at B'Elanna and she just looked at the captain. He knew that look though, she was frustrated they had made no progress to finding any trace of her husband. And being three months pregnant didn't help her mood. Her engineering staff could vouch for that. They were all walking on egg shells around her these past two weeks. Now Tuvok spoke up

"Captain, we have scanned the planet and found an advanced civilization but no answers to our hails. They seem to be on the same level as us in technology though. They have scanned us, but have shown no hostile intent. I would surmise that they are as curious about us as we are about them. I haven't detected any ships in orbit, or any evidence of any warp technology, so they may not have inter stellar travel."

"But they seem to have the ability to project that wave."

This came from Chakotay. Harry picked it up

"The wave did come from that planet. They may not have space travel, but that wave is astonishing."

He paused for a moment before he continued his thought

"Maybe, they use that wave to bring people to them?"

The people around the table looked at Harry and thought about his question. After a moment, B'Elanna said quietly

"Maybe they wanted to study the shuttle and learn about out flight technology and about..."

She trailed off and couldn't or wouldn't finish her thought. They all knew what she was thinking though, that they had taken the shuttle with Tom and were doing god knows what to the pilot.

"Well, since they haven't shown any hostility to us so far, I suggest we continue on our course and try and make contact with them..."

Before the captain could finish, they were interrupted by Ensign Baytart

"Captain, long range sensors have picked up the Flyer. It's approximately three parsecs off our bow."

Before anyone could react, B'Elanna said

"Pablo, are there any life sign readings?"

"One, appears to be human, but we've been unable to raise the shuttle. The channels are open, but no response to our hails."

Now the captain said, as they all rose to enter the bridge

"Set course in intercept, as soon as we are in transported range beam the occupant directly to sickbay."

They entered the bridge and she continued

"Harry, you have the Conn, Tuvok, Chakotay, you're with me. Once we reach the Flyer, tow it into cargo bay two, and hold position."

She turned to take the turbolift to sickbay. B'Elanna said

"I'm coming too."

The look on her face told them that they would not be able to stop her. Chakotay just smiled and Janeway nodded. The turbolift came, and they all piled in to make the trip to sickbay. Harry took the big seat, but his mind was elsewhere. He hoped his best friend would be okay.

They entered sickbay and saw that the Doc was hovering over the person that now lay on the bio bed. Tom...he looked so...still. His eyes were open but he seemed so quite. What was wrong? B'Elanna's first impulse was to rush over to Tom, but something held her back. Something was terribly wrong and she wasn't able to put her finger on it. Then she realized it...Tom was completely silent and didn't seem to be moving.

The Doc looked up as he heard the doors open, and the look on his face was not encouraging. B'Elanna felt the tight feeling in her heart get tighter and she walked over to her husband. His blue eyes were open, but there was a blank stare...it was as if he wasn't seeing them. She turned to the Doc and said

"What's wrong Doctor? Why is he just lying there?"

The others had joined her and they also noticed the blank stare. Chakotay laid his hand on B'Elanna's shoulder, but she didn't take her eyes off of Tom's face. The Doc turned to the captain and said

"Physically, the Lt. is in perfect health."

He paused for a moment and looked at their faces. How would he tell them what he had discovered? How could he tell them he wasn't sure if he could help Mr. Paris. He didn't know if he could be helped. He now looked at B'Elanna, and his face fell. How would he tell her that her husband was...

"Doctor, what has happened to Lt. Paris? What's wrong?"

The captain looked concerned as she watched the Lt as he just laid there. She was getting worried also. She looked at the Doctor. He seemed more human than he had ever seemed before. It was obvious that he cared a great deal for his assistant, and that he was worried about him. He took a deep breath, which he didn't need and said as he looked back at the vacant blue eyes that were staring at the ceiling

"Someone or something had tampered with his being. Its as if he has been wiped of all that was him. His memories, his abilities, everything. His mind is blank, and I don't know if we will ever be able to get him back."

The silence was deafening, and after a few moments, B'Elanna began to crumple. Chakotay caught her before she could fall, and he and Tuvok helped her onto the other bio bed. The Doc gave her a sedative, and she drifted off to asleep. She had not really slept since Tom had disappeared, and the Doc had been trying to get her to rest for three days now. The captain now said

"Doctor, what do you mean that his mind is a blank? How can that be possible?"

He turned back to them and said

"It's as if somehow, he has had all his 'soul' erased. He has no upper brain activity. I have no idea if he has any motor skills,or if he hear us, but what made him a living person is gone. How that was achieved, I don't know. Maybe the inhabitants of the planet know, but until I can run more extensive tests, I have no way of knowing if the person we know as Tom Paris is still in there somewhere."

"Doctor, may I suggest a mind meld? If Mr. Paris is still with us, I may be able to touch his essence. "

The Doctor frowned. He was not in favor of a mind meld, but he did need to know if the Lt. was indeed there.

"Mr. Tuvok, although I don't sanction a mind meld, it may be the only way to see if Mr. Paris is indeed still with us, and it may help to bring him back to normal."

Tuvok looked at them and said

"I will only be able to determine if the Lt is still there, to do anything further... to bring him back would entail meditation first."

He moved in closer the the pilot, and saw the complete blank stare. It unnerved him a little. It reminded him of the look of a Vulcan who had died and his katra had been taken to the great hall where they all were kept...no soul left in the body. He hoped he would find something there. He reached out and placed his fingers on the pressure points and began

"My mind to your mind...your thoughts to my thoughts..."

He stayed in the meld for fifteen minutes and finally he withdrew, a look of utter shock on his face. He began to collapse, but the Doctor and Chakotay caught him. They guided him to the chair and sat him down. For several moments he didn't speak but then he said quietly

"Mr Paris is...there. It is a very weak and frighten presence but he is there. It was like a small child lost in his own mind, but I believe we will, in time be able to get him back."

Tuvok closed his eyes and just sat there. He had never encountered this type of regression. It was as if Mr. Paris had withdrawn to a small corner of his psyche and was afraid to emerge. Somehow they would need to get his trust and draw him back out. Tuvok was sure that they could, but it would take some time. The same strengths that made Tom able to cope with his past, was also what probably saved him from what ever had happened. Tuvok knew that it was going to be a long and hard procedure to bring him back, and it may be that all of his friends would need to help. He hoped that they would be able to help him. He had to admit to himself that the illogical human was an intricate part of the Voyager family and one they didn't need to lose, himself included. He sighed and began planning the next move.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

He was floating in a mist of gray. He felt safe, and had no need to leave his secret place. He couldn't remember how long he had been here or how he had gotten there. He wasn't sure where he was, but he knew he was safe. He had hid when the other had come looking for him. He had been scared and felt that someone was trying to hurt him. They had tried to hurt him before, but he had gotten away from them and now he was safe.

Who was he? He couldn't remember that. Where was he suppose to be? Was he suppose to be in his secret place? He hadn't been here for a long time, he was sure of that, but how did he know that? He just did. This was his secret place and he had been here before. But when? He just couldn't remember. Why had the other come looking for him? Was he a friend or enemy? He wasn't sure. He had hid and not let the other touch him, but he was afraid that the other had known he was here. He would have to be careful and not let them find him. They had tried to hurt him, and he had gotten away, but this new other didn't seem to want to hurt him did he? He decided he had to be careful. If the other came back, he'd watch and decide if he'd let the other find him. Somehow, the other seemed familiar. But he would wait and see. He would not let anyone hurt him again.

Chakotay was sitting in the mess and wondering what they were going to do about Tom. The younger man was still in sickbay, and none of them knew if he'd get better. What had happened to the young pilot? How had his very soul been erased? Chakotay knew that without Tom at the helm and back to himself, the trip home would be quite dismal. He had in this very moment realized that Tom was truly the heart of the ship. He had always given his all to this ship and crew. He gave without a thought of himself, and his cheer and wit was what kept the bridge so well oiled and working. He was the binding tie to all the crew.

He looked up and saw Harry Kim enter the mess, a look of despair on his face. He along with B'Elanna had taken the news of Tom hard. Tom was after all his best friend and B'Elanna was the glue that held the two friends together. The crew use to joke that they were the three musketeers. Now Harry came over carrying his tray and sat down. He nodded to Chakotay, and absently took his fork and began to eat.

"Harry, how are you?"

Chakotay didn't like the look on the young ensign's face. He looked like he was very disturbed and he just shrugged and said

"I'm okay, commander...it's just hard knowing that something has happened to Tom and we don't even know what happened. Has the Doc finished his tests yet? Have you heard anything yet?"

Chakotay shook his head and said

"Nothing yet, but I'm sure the Doctor will be able to come up with a treatment."

He watched as the ensign continued to look at his tray. He had taken a couple of bites, but now was just pushing his food around.

"Chakotay, what if he can't? What if we never get Tom back?"

The anguish in his voice was quite evident. Chakotay reached out to place his hand on his shoulder and said

"I'm sure that the Doctor will come up with something. Also, Tuvok said he had plans to help and hopefully with them both working on the problem, we will get Tom back."

"Thanks Chakotay, I'm sure we will."

He took another bite and then said thoughtfully

"I wonder what they did to Tom to cause so much trouble? And why?"

Chakotay had been asking himself the same questions. What would make someone literally wipe out someone's being? What were they after? Was it the inhabitants of the planet? They had held position at the place they had recovered the shuttle and Tom, but in the forty eight hours they had been here, no contact had been made. They knew that they were aware of their presence, as they had scanned them twice, but had not made an attempt to contact them. They had tried several times, but were not answered, so they were not sure if they were even being received. The captain had decided to stay put for the moment and give the Doctor a chance to run his tests. Deep down, she knew that they would have to contact the planet to see if they could help. She refused to admit defeat. She was determined to do everything she could to help her pilot. The look of nothingness in Tom's eyes had haunted her dreams, and she wanted nothing more than to get him back.

The Doctor had been running tests all day on Mr Paris and he still did not show any upper brain function, but he had found a slight fluctuation in the lowest level of the brain, so maybe Tuvok was right, that Mr. Paris was still there. He certainly hoped so. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he really liked his assistant. And he was sure that Mr. Paris felt the same. He had been talking to Tom all day, and had watched those vacant eyes for any sign of recondition or comprehension, but the eyes held their vacant look. He wasn't sure if Tom could even hear him, but he continued to chat and hoped that something was getting through to the young man.

He had just finished a story of what was going on in engineering when the Captain came into sickbay.

"How is he doing Doctor?"

She had come over to see if Tom had gotten any better, but he was still just laying there with the same blank stare. His beautiful blue eyes had no life in them at all. None of the sparkle that defined the pilot. It broke her heart to see him this way. He had always been so full of life and now it was as if he wasn't even there. She looked deep into his eyes, but saw nothing. The Doctor came over and stood with her and said

"There has been no change, Captain, however, I have detected some activity in his lower brain function. I believe that Mr. Tuvok is right that somewhere within Mr. Paris' mind, he is there. How to bring him back though, I'm not sure. Although I'm not happy with the idea of a Vulcan mind meld, it may be the only thing we have."

Kathryn brushed a lock of hair off the Lt.'s forehead and said

"Tuvok will need to meditate for a while. He said he should be able to begin in a couple of hours. We can try our first meld at 2100 today."

The Doctor nodded and again looked at Tom. He hoped they would be able to pull this off.

Tuvok had meditated for two hours, and now he felt that he was ready to attempt the first try to reach the pilot. His first attempt had verified that Tom was still there but he was so hidden that Tuvok had had a hard time finding him. Now he was going to try and delve into the interior of Tom's mind to see if he could get closer than he had. The young pilot had a strong defensive mind and it was obvious that he had spent years building it up. Tuvok knew that Tom had a past, and that he had suffered from intense nightmares, but he had been surprised at how strong those defenses were. He knew he had a struggle ahead of him.

He entered sickbay to find both the Captain and Lt. Torres present. He had hoped to not have an audience, but decided that maybe he could use it to his advantage. If he could make contact with Tom, he could let him know that they were waiting for him. He nodded to the Captain and said to the Doctor

"I am ready to try and make contact with Mr. Paris and hopefully, make some progress to getting him to trust me."

B'Elanna was standing next to the bio bed, just stroking her husbands cheek. She had not seen a difference in him, and tears were welded up in her eyes. She had refused to let them fall, but she was determined to be here to help in any way possible to get her husband back. She had been here for over an hour now telling Tom of all the days doings. She had hoped he had heard her, but to look at him, there was no indication that he had even heard her. Now she looked at Tuvok and said

"Please, if you make contact tell him...tell him I miss him and want him back."

Tuvok looked at the Lt. and said

"I will endeavor to do so, but I must warn you, it may take quite some time...he has gone deep within himself, and it may take some time to gain enough trust to lure him out."

B'Elanna just nodded and stepped away, as Tuvok walked over to begin the meld. He closed his eyes for a minute, and then he reached for the points on Mr. Paris' face to begin the meld...

He was walking down what seemed to be a long corridor. There was a mist swirling around him, but it didn't have the dampness that he associated with mist or fog. He was trying to make contact with the presence he sensed. That presence was just out of reach and he could feel it retreating away from him. He still felt the terror and the only thing he could relate it to was that of a small child who was trying to hide from what they saw as a danger to themselves. He also felt the sorrow that a child hiding would generate. It was a strong emotion, and Tuvok was having a hard time blocking it out. He moved closer to the feelings, but suddenly, he came face to face with a large bald eagle. The bird was about ten feet in front of him and was intently watching him with bright yellow eyes. The bird cocked its head and said

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

Tuvok was not taken aback when the bird spoke to him, as in a mind meld, anything could happen, and being in the mind of a human increased that possibility. Tuvok raised his eyebrows and replied

"I am here to bring Lt. Paris back home."

The eagle nodded and said

"That is a big job, as he is hiding and will not come easily...you will need help. His friends will help but you must gain his trust."

"Can you tell me how this happened?"

The eagle shook his head and replied

"That is for him to tell you...but he is strong. His spirit is just hurting at the moment. He must trust you before he will follow you...have patience and he will trust."

The eagle began to fade into the mist as it got thicker, but Tuvok heard him say as he disappeared

"Do not give up."

He stood there in the increased mist and thought about what had just happened. Was this just a defense mechanism, or was the eagle a symbol of something else? It was a mystery that he would have to meditate on later. Right now he had to try to make contact. Taking a deep breath, he softly said

"Mr. Paris...I am only here to help you, but you must trust me to come home. Please Mr. Paris...you are safe, back on Voyager, and we all want you to come home. I can help you."

He waited to see if anything would change. He still felt the fear and distrust but it wasn't quite as strong as when he had first entered. He took a step closer, but suddenly he felt the fear and panic of a small child and he was suddenly thrown back as if a wave had hit him. He stumbled and almost fell. He could feel the walls go up, and knew he had done all he could right now. He had felt, that for a moment, the walls had started to come down. Now was not the time to push it. He would return. He began to retreat, and once he did, he felt the relief as he did. He now knew that he had a lot of work to do to reach the young man and knew he needed the help of the pilot's friends and family. Slowly, so he wouldn't startle Tom, he withdrew.

The other was back and trying to find him. He couldn't let that happen. He was scared and tried to push further away. He knew that if he came out that he would get hurt. He pushed himself against a wall and tried to make himself as small as possible. He would hide and not make a sound, and maybe the other would leave him alone. He tried not to whimper, but just as he thought he couldn't stop himself, something happened. He cautiously moved forward until he could see the other. He looked familiar, and he thought that he should know him, but he couldn't remember. Who was he? Was he a friend? Did he come to hurt him? He started to feel the fear rising in him and was going to slip back into the wall when he saw a large eagle appear in front of the other. Where had he come from? He was fascinated with the magnificent creature. He was so graceful and didn't seem afraid at all. He found himself wishing he could feel the same way, but he couldn't get past the fear. The eagle and the other talked and he watched as the other seem to listen to what the bird had to say. It didn't really make sense to him but the other seemed to understand. He watched with a growing feeling that neither wanted to harm him. As he watched, the bird began to disappear and this startled him. Where had the eagle gone? He had begun to feel some peace with the eagle there and now he was left alone with the other. He looked at the other as he called to him. His fear began to overwhelm him and he quickly retreated into the shadows. Had the other seen him? Was he safe? A sudden wave of fear came over him and somehow he knew that the other was now retreating. He sighed in relief and began to close his eyes and started to float comfortably in the gray mist. He was safe again and he could relax. He fell asleep thinking of the bald eagle and having a sense of peace. He was going to be okay.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tuvok broke the meld and staggered back a step. He was aware of hands steadied him, but he was still into the after effects of the meld. He felt himself being guided to a chair and he sat gratefully. After a few moments, he looked up at the people surrounding him. The Doctor had a worried look on his face and he said

"Mr. Tuvok, what happened during the meld?"

"Mr. Paris is most assuredly there, and he his quite...afraid to come out. I got waves of fear and terror. It was as if he refused to let me near him."

Now Janeway spoke up and said

"Something happened during the meld. Tom began to shake and it seemed as if he was trying to make himself..."

"Invisible?"

B'Elanna said softly. They all looked at her and she said

"It's like his nightmares, he tries to hide and tries to become invisible to whatever is tormenting him."

She took a step towards her husband, and it was then that she noticed his eyes were closed and he had a certain look on his face. He looked as if he was just sleeping, but she knew he had somehow made himself invisible. It was something she had seen many times since they had been together. She knew it was one of his defense mechanisms, and he had used it before. Most of the crew really knew nothing of his past experiences, but he had told her some of it, and that, when he was about nine, he had been abducted by a terrorist group hoping to force Star Fleet to bend to their demands. Somehow, in his fear, he had retreated into himself, and gone catatonic, just like now. He had been found three days later and rushed to Medical, and spent several weeks there. They had never been able to piece together those three days, but his parents had been most thankful he was unhurt.

Now B'Elanna sat down next to Tom and began to softly talk to him and stroke his face. The others move away and now Tuvok said

"I need to discuss something that happened with Commander Chakotay."

The Doctor interjected and said in a tone of voice that meant business

"Then you'll have to do it here...I'm keeping you here for the next twelve hours to make sure no ill effects will come from that...meld."

It was plain the Doctor did not sanction any unorthodox methods. The Vulcan looked at the Doctor and raised an eyebrow as he said

"Really Doctor, I'm quite alright. I don't need to stay here..."

Before he could continue, the Captain laid her hand on her old friend and said

"I think it would be best, you didn't seem to have an easy time of it. During Tom's reaction, you seemed to be in pain. I'd feel better if you would stay."

She looked at her third in command and saw that even though he disagreed, he would stay.

"Then the Commander will have to come here. It is urgent that I speak with him."

Kathryn raised her hand and tapped her comm and said

"Janeway to Chakotay, can you come to sickbay?"

The answer came back and he said

"On my way, Chakotay out."

She looked at Tuvok and he knew she had a question she wanted to ask. He took a breath and said

"While I was trying to contact Mr. Paris, a strange thing happened. I was suddenly confronted by a large bald eagle. The eagle told me that in order to reach the Lt., it would take the effort of his friends and family."

Kathryn thought for a moment and then said

"Do you think it was his animal guide?"

"That is what I'd like to talk to the Commander about. It could just be his own mind trying to reach out to us."

The doors to sickbay opened and Chakotay strode in. He looked over at the pilot and saw that he seemed to be sleeping, that his eyes were closed. He was glad, as the vacant look in his eyes had bother him. Tom had always been so alive, the sparkle in his eyes only leaving when he got mad, which wasn't often. He so wanted the young man back to normal.

He walked over to the three officers standing near the Doctor's office and said

"How's Tom?"

He turned to see B'Elanna lean over and gently kiss her husband on his cheek. He knew she was hurting and he wanted to help get her husband and the father of her unborn child back.

"Commander, I need to ask you a question. Is it possible for someone to see a person's animal guide?"

Chakotay looked at the Vulcan and said

"A person's animal guide is something personal, between the person and guide...however if the animal guide wishes it, it could be possible...why?"

Tuvok took a deep breath and said

"Then, I believe I've met Mr. Paris' guide."

Chakotay just raised an eyebrow and said

"What happened?"

"I was walking down what looked like a dark hallway. There was mist everywhere and... silence. Then a large bald eagle with piercing yellow eyes appeared before me."

Chakotay took a sharp inhale of breath and said

"Did the bird talk to you?"

"Yes. He said that in order to help Mr. Paris it would take the effort of his friends and family, that his soul was hurting and that what ever happened to him had plunged him into the terror and fear he now suffers with. When I asked what had happened to cause so much pain and terror, the bird told me it was up the Mr. Paris to tell us"

Chakotay just nodded and said, with a slight smile on his face

"It sounds like it could very well be his animal guide."

He had often gotten such cryptic answers from his guide. Tuvok continued

"Commander, is it possible to contact his guide without doing a mind meld?"

Chakotay was silent for a moment before he said

"I can talk to my guide, but I can't say if it will be possible. An animal guide is a deeply personal experience, and for someone else to get involved is usually not permitted."

Tuvok began to say something, but Chakotay raised his hand and said

"However, since the bird appeared to you, it may be possible."

Tuvok nodded and said

"I need to see if the eagle will guide me in how to get the trust of the Lt. Only with his trust will we be able to guide him back. His mind is quite...dynamic for a human."

He added. The Doctor now spoke up

"Well, in the meantime, I want you to lie down. That meld did tire you and you need to rest."

"Very well Doctor...if you insist."

He walked over to the other bio bed and laid down to meditate on the meld. He was determined now to get the trust of Tom and help bring him back. They needed him and he had to admit to himself, that he would most certainly miss the illogical pilot on the bridge. He closed his eyes and began to meditate.

Chakotay was in the wooded meadow that he always came to in his quests. He could see his guide, a beautiful she wolf, sitting on the grass next to a fallen log. He walked over and sat down next to her. Her bright gray eyes watched him for a moment and then she stretched and gave a wide yawn before she laid down next to him.

Finally she said

"What is troubling you little one?"

"My friend had been hurt, and now he has retreated into himself. We don't know what to do to help him."

She nodded and replied

"I know little one, he has had a very terrifying experience, and has retreated to his secret place."

Chakotay looked at her and said

"Tuvok has tried to reach him, but hasn't been able to. He encountered a bald eagle and was told that only Tom's friends and family could help. Is the eagle Tom's guide?"

The she wolf laughed and said

"That is not for me to say."

Her eyes showed the mirth at him asking such a question. He sighed and said

"Is it possible to talk with the eagle?"

He hoped he'd get a better answer, but he knew not to count on it. The she wolf looked at him and then, with what would pass as a smile for her, said

"That you would have to ask the eagle."

She looked up and Chakotay followed her gaze. He saw the eagle high up in the sky floating on the air currents. Slowly he made his way down and landed on the fallen log. He was huge, much bigger that an eagle should be. The eagle looked at him as if he was trying to size him up. It unnerved him a bit, and then it dawned on him. It was the same gaze that Tom used when he was sizing up a situation. A slight smile came to his lips as he watched the bird.

"You smile? Do I look so unreal to you?"

The bird now looked at the wolf and they seemed to exchange information with just a look.

"I'm sorry, I did not intend to offend."

Chakotay said, and the eagle looked back at him and said

"Did I say I was offended little one?"

"No but..."

"You thought that I mimicked your friend? Well, I did and I do. He is most favored and he is now lost. Only his friends and family can help now."

Chakotay looked worried and said

"How can we help him?"

"By being his friends. He has been hurt most of his life and all he thought were friends, have left him or turned their back on him. He needs to trust again."

"But he is among friends...we are like a family now, and B'Elanna loves him..."

Before he could continue, the eagle spoke again

"That is true, but he had regressed into a child..."

The eagle turned and looked off into the distance, and Chakotay turned and looked and saw a small boy sitting on the ground at a lake that had suddely appeared. He was fishing and seemed content. The eagle started to lift off, but Chakotay said

"Is that Tom?"

He started to rise as if to go over to the boy, but with his movement, the boy faded and disappeared.

"What happened?"

The eagle said

"He is not ready yet. You must get his trust."

"But how?"

Now the she wolf said

"You know how little one."

Chakotay was still baffled, and the eagle spread his wings to take flight.

"Wait, Tuvok needs to speak with you. Is that permitted?"

The eagle looked at the she wolf and she at him. There seemed to be communication going back and forth. Then they both looked at him and said together

"It is permitted, little one."

Chakotay woke and found himself back in his quarters. He was a little bewildered. They had said he knew how to get Tom's trust, but how? How was he suppose to accomplish this if Tom hid from them? He just wasn't sure what to do. He rose and left his quarters to go to sickbay. He needed to talk to Tuvok now. As he stepped onto the turbolift, he called out

"Deck five...computer is the Captain still in sickbay?"

"Affirmative."

He was glad. This was something she needed to know also.

Tuvok was sitting on the edge of the bio bed and speaking with the Captain. The doors of sickbay opened and Chakotay strode in and went directly to Tom's side. He looked down and saw that his eyes were still closed. He reached down and touched Tom's shoulder and whispered

"Don't worry Tom, we'll get you back."

_Little did Chakotay know that deep down somewhere within the pilot's mind, that message got through to one small boy, and gave that small boy some hope that someone was there who didn't frighten him. He had already felt the soft one with him, and it gave him comfort. He liked the soft one very much and he wanted to be closer to that one. He now thought that the other had been there to help him, and he wanted to trust, but was still afraid of it all. The other had a stern look about him and he was still afraid of the other. How could he know for sure? Would the strong one help him? Would the strong one help him to be with the soft one? He hoped so. The soft one was beginning to be all important to him, why, he didn't know, it now was just a burning desire to be with the soft one...his soft one._

_TCB_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chakotay took one last look at Tom, and then turned and walked over to Tuvok and Kathryn. They both looked up at him as he said

"Tuvok, we have an invitation to speak with Tom's guide."

Tuvok raised his eyebrow and nodded

"Good, when can we proceed?"

Chakotay sighed and continued

"We will need to wait at least twenty four hours. In the past, when I visited my guide, it was difficult to return immediately. Besides, I think they wish it that way..."

He trailed off in his thoughts and Kathryn could see he was tired.

"Can you tell us what happened?"

He looked at his Captain and then said

"Well, it started out as usual, my guide was waiting for me in the meadow. I told her that we were trying to help Tom. She seemed to know that he was hurting. I asked if the eagle was Tom's guide and she just laughed at me."

He said this last part with a little embarrassment.

"Anyway, the eagle appeared and told me that the only way to reach Tom would be through his friends and family."

Tuvok was listening and now said

"Commander, will his guide agree to meet with me?"

"I asked and they both said it would be permitted."

"Good, maybe they will help me reach Mr. Paris."

"One more thing, I got a glimpse of Tom while I was there..."

Kathryn now said

"I thought that only you would be in your place? How was Tom there?"

Chakotay smiled and said

"Usually that's true, but his guide was present, so it was not unusual for Tom to be there. But he was a small boy...no more that five or six I'd say. I tried to go to him, but he vanished. The eagle told me he was not ready yet."

"Why would he appear as a small boy?"

Kathryn wondered. She knew a little about her helmsman, and his youth, but not a lot. She had read of his abduction at age nine, and how he had been rescued, but not all the facts. He had spent several weeks in Medical, but these files were classified, and only accessible to the highest in Star Fleet. She began to wonder what exactly were in those files.

"Has he regressed to a point in his life were things were better?"

She looked at the Doctor who had joined them and then at Tuvok who seemed deep in thought

"It could be, Captain."

The Doctor said as he looked over at the man on the bio bed and then continued

"The human brain is a intricate thing, and sometimes when it can't cope with something traumatic, it could very well regress to an earlier age to protect itself. This may be what has happened to Mr. Paris. I've just never heard of it regressing so far back in an adult before."

"Doctor, would it happen if the person had had a traumatic event happen when they were young?"

The Doctor looked at the Captain and said

"It's possible...I know that Mr. Paris has had unpleasant things happen to him but..."

Kathryn looked at the Doctor and seemed to get and idea.

"Doctor, would you be able to pull up Mr. Paris' medical files from say when he was eight or nine even if they had been classified?"

The three looked at her and Tuvok raised an eyebrow. The Doctor thought a moment and then said

"Yes, I think I can, but why would they be classified?"

She stood and lead them all into the Doctor's office before she replied

"Something that happened to Tom when he was young..."

The Doctor sat down and began looking through his files.

It took a little over twenty minutes to pull up the information. He had to circumvent several lock outs, but it didn't seem to have any alarms, so he was sure no one would know they had broken into the files.

"Good grief, Kathryn. It was Tom that the Element kidnapped?"

Chakotay was surprised at the information they were now reading. The Element was a terrorist group from the fringes of the Federation, and had been quite active about sixteen years ago. He had read about the kidnapping, but at the time there was no mention of the boy's name. Star Fleet had recovered the boy within three days, but other than the fact that he was alive and well, nothing else had been reported. Now to find out that it had been Tom Paris and that when they had found him he had been catatonic and that it had taken the best people at Star Fleet Medical six weeks to bring him out of it was amazing.

It seemed that he had withdrawn into himself just as he had now. But they had no information on how the Doctors had been able to pull him out of it. They were still at square one.

"It would seem that Mr. Paris is not unfamiliar with survival techniques."

Tuvok said. He had read the file and the idea that men could frighten a small boy so much that the boy would retreat into himself was utterly unthinkable. On Vulcan, the children were cherished and no adult would ever think to place such stress on them. It was criminal what had happened to the young Tom.

Not long after the incident, the Element had collapsed and the leaders had been captured and place on trial. But the damage had already been done to the young Mr. Paris.

"What ever happened to the Delta Flyer and Tom, must have brought back the fears of his kidnapping, and he did the same thing...just withdrew within himself."

Chakotay said. He was sick at heart thinking of what had happened to Tom as a child, and now something had happened to bring all that back. What had they done to him? Could they help him? Could they get him to come home? He hoped so.

"We need to somehow gain Tom's trust and let him know we only want to help him."

Kathryn said as she stood again and walked back out to look at Tom. His eyes were open again and he seemed to be looking straight at the ceiling with the same blank stare.

"Commander, you said that the animal guides were willing to meet with me. What should I expect in the meeting?"

Chakotay regarded him for a moment and then said

"Tuvok, it can be different in each quest. I would just suggest that when the time is right, to just let them do the talking. Ask questions, but be prepared to get some cryptic answers."

Tuvok wasn't sure what to say to that. He was use to logic, and if you asked a question, you got the answer. It seemed illogical.

"That does not seem to be conducive to the problem at hand."

Chakotay just smiled and said

"Animal guides are not logical to our thinking, but they always have the correct answer. We will just have to look for it."

Tuvok thought for a moment, and then he nodded his head.

"I will endeavor to keep that in mind, Commander."

They once again looked over at Tom, as he lay on the bio bed. They knew that B'Elanna would be showing up soon, as her shift was almost over. She spend most of her off time here sitting and talking to Tom. Someone would bring her something to eat from the mess, and Neelix had tried to fix her something special each night. Usually it was Harry who brought her dinner, and then they both would spend the evening talking to Tom, hoping that something would bring him back, but so far nothing had worked.

Tuvok left sickbay and asked Chakotay to let him know three hours before they would enter the quest. He would need time to meditate. The last thing he wanted to do was say something wrong.

Chakotay and the Captain were still in sickbay when B'Elanna came in. She was carrying a small device with her, and she took it over to Tom and set it down on the table next to his bed. Both of her commanding officers went over and then Chakotay said

"B'Elanna, how are you feeling?"

She turned and looked at her old captain and friend and said

"I'm fine Chakotay..Captain."

She reached for the device she had brought, and flipping a small switch, the sounds of soft jazz began to play in sickbay.

"It's for Tom, his jazz...yesterday, I brought his rock and roll."

She actually smiled at them. They both knew Tom loved twentieth century music, and B'Elanna had decided to bring his music to him.

"I hope he can hear it and know that we are here to help him."

The Captain said as she looked at the engineer. She was tired, and she had slight dark circles under her eyes. Kathryn wanted to get her to go sleep, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. B'Elanna was a stubborn woman, and when it came to Tom, she was like a wildcat. She refused to leave him, and only would lay down for a few hours. She would only go to their quarters to shower and change for her shift, but refused to leave Tom's side the rest of the time.

It was telling on her, and Kathryn knew she'd have to relieve her of duty soon. She wouldn't do herself, Tom or the baby any good if she collapsed.

For now though, she was willing to let the Doctor keep an eye on her and decide when and if they would need to act.

"B'Elanna, please don't tire yourself out. Tuvok and I have a plan and we hope to start tomorrow."

She looked at him and said

"What have you got planned?"

He said as he looked again at Tom

"We are going on a quest to speak to Tom's animal guide to see if we can get any help to bring him back."

She smiled as she thought of her one time trying at contacting her guide. She had tried to kill her guide because it had refused to answer her clearly. That was the last time she had tried.

"I hope you have success. My one time trying to contact my..."

Before she could continue, Chakotay held up his hand and said

"I know, don't worry, everything will be okay."

They said goodnight and left her alone with the man she loved and her soft voice speaking to him.

_He was standing near the junction of the two walls. He had been alone now for a while. The other had not come back, and he was a little glad of that, as he was still not sure he could trust him. The strong one was not there, and even the soft one was not near. He was sorry as he really enjoyed being near the soft one. He always felt good and happy with the soft one._

_He looked around and saw nothing but the swirling mist. He thought that maybe he would venture out and see what was out there. Cautiously, he took a few steps away from the wall and nothing happened. He saw no one. He continued, and suddenly, the eagle appeared beside him. He cried out and turned to run back to the wall, but the eagle said_

"_Do not run from me little one. I am here to help you."_

_He stopped and turned to look at the bird. He saw no attempt to hurt him, and his curiosity got the best of him as he walked back to stand next to the bird. He was almost as tall as he was and he had bright yellow eyes._

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am your animal guide, and I'm here to help you."_

"_My animal guide?"_

"_Yes."_

_The eagle looked at him and he could see a quite peace about the bird_

"_Can I touch you?"_

_The bird nodded, and he hesitantly reached out his hand and gently touched the bird. He smiled and came closer. He place both his arms around the neck of the bird and hugged him, and the eagle took his wings and wrapped then around the small child. They stood like that for several minutes and finally the eagle said_

"_You must learn to trust those who have come to help you."_

_He withdrew his arms and said with a whimper_

"_But the other looks so stern and not happy...he scares me."_

"_I know, little one, but you must try. What about the soft one?"_

_He looked at the eagle and said_

"_I like the soft one."_

_He was smiling and the bird continued_

"_They all want to help you...you must trust...it is the only way you will get home."_

"_Home?"_

"_Yes."_

"_But the other is scary..."_

_He again looked skeptical but the bird said_

"_I will talk to the other and see if he will be less scary. Now will you try?"_

_He thought for a moment and then nodded as he said_

"_Only if the strong one and the soft one comes too."_

_The bird nodded and said_

"_I will take care of it. Now I must go but I will return...remember...Trust."_

_The eagle faded, and he was alone again, but he wasn't quite as afraid. He turned and went back to the wall and, as he thought of what the eagle had said, he began to float again in the endless mist._

In sickbay, B'Elanna had drifted off to sleep,she was so tired. She had only meant to rest her eyes, but had drifted off. No one saw the small smile form on Tom Paris' lips. It disappeared a moment later, but it was a step in right direction.

TCB


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chakotay was just leaving Tuvok's quarters. He had come to inform the chief of security that they would be doing the quest in a couple of hours. Both the Doctor and the Captain had insisted that they do it in sickbay and that they would monitor the whole thing. Chakotay had reluctantly agreed but now he wasn't sure if it would work. He knew the spirit realm was very particular about the whole spirit quest. He just hoped it would turn out well.

He decided he could do a little meditating himself, and walked to his quarters. Once inside, he requested the computer to alert him when it was thirty minutes before the time he was due in sickbay, and, after getting a cup of hot herbal tea, he sat down on his couch to think of all that lay ahead.

Tuvok was sitting on the couch and meditating. He had Vulcan incense burning and the soft sounds of the Vulcan bells that had always rang in the wind chimes that his mother had favored, and had hung at his childhood home.

He hoped that he would be able to lure out Tom from the hiding place he had retreated to. He knew that somehow he would need to gain his trust, but how? He thought of the little boy he had seen in that last moment that he was in the meld. He knew it was Tom, as he had seen the mop of golden hair and the frighten blue eyes. He would somehow need to appeal to a small boy and not the adult that he thought of. How would he do it? Could he draw on his experiences as a father? His children were way past this age, but he knew that some way he'd need to do it.

As he relaxed into the meditation and imagined the back garden of his childhood home, he could see the garden and outdoor furniture that they would be able to enjoy after the sun would set and it cooled. He was centering in on the image of the bell chimes, when he noticed a small black cat sitting in the chair that his father had always sat on. It was looking directly at him and had the most penetrating green eyes. After a moment, the cat began to clean itself. Tuvok was mesmerized as he watched the cat. They had never had a black cat. Where had it come from? Why was it here now? He continued to watch, and as he did, the cat suddenly jumped down and with a flick of its tail, it moved off, but not before turning and looking straight at him. Then it just disappeared around the corner of the house.

Tuvok came out of his meditation and sat for a moment just trying to understand the vision he had gotten. What did it mean? He wasn't sure, but he began to formulate an hypothesis. He decided that he would ask the spirit guides if he was correct.

He glanced up and said

"Computer what is the time?"

"It is 2030."

Came the reply. He had thirty minutes to get to sickbay. He stood and, taking his meditation robe off, he place it on the hook in his sleeping area and left his quarters to walk to sickbay. He only hoped that this would help him reach the pilot.

Chakotay had been deep in thought and the herbal tea had long been forgotten. He had been thinking back to Tom and B'Elanna's wedding day. He had been asked to give the bride away, and he had thought at the time how happy she had been. Tom and B'Elanna had been in love for a long time, but had just in the last year admitted it to each other. He smiled a little as he remembered how they use to fight. She would call him a pig and he'd walk off in a huff, but within days, they'd make up, and would be the model couple again.

It was after the second fight, that B'Elanna had come to him in tears and had spent more than three hours telling him how much she loved Tom and how much she needed him. He had never found out what the fight had been about, but he had listened to her and assured her that it would all blow over. He knew that Tom was head over heels in love with the engineer, and would do anything for her. Anyone with eyes could see it. They just wouldn't admit it to themselves.

Then, when they had taken the shuttle to retrieve the warp core, and had to evacuate and were floating in space with only her oxygen working, she had shared with him and had admitted that she loved him. Voyager had found then in the nick of time, and he remembered that as they lay on separate bio beds, he had seen Tom reach out and clasp her hand.

Now, Tom was lost to them, and they desperately needed to find a way to bring him back. He knew that if they couldn't, that B'Elanna would spend the rest of her life in sickbay with him. They deserved better. Both had had traumatic things happen to them as children and they needed each other. He was going to do everything he could to get Tom back.

"The time is 2030."

The computer intoned. It took one more warning before he shook himself out of his thoughts and said

"Computer, end reminder."

He heard the bleeps of the computer as it reset itself, and he got up. He felt a little stiff, so he stretched and heard the pops as his spine crack. He sighed and retrieved his medicine bundle, and as he was walking towards the door, the announcer rang. He was almost to the door, and as it opened he saw Kathryn standing there.

"Kathryn. I was just on my way to sickbay."

He smiled at her and she said

"I thought I'd walk along with you."

They began the walk to the turbolift, and once they got to it, Chakotay pushed the button to summon the lift.

"Do you think this will work?"

The Captain had a worried look on her face. She was worried about Tom. She had always had a special place in her heart for him, and Chakotay knew she thought of him as the little brother she never had.

"I think so. When I was with them yesterday, they seemed quite willing to help."

The lift came and they both stepped in and gave their destination. They were silent as the lift took them to deck five, and deposited them not far from sickbay. They walked the few steps and entered sickbay hoping that they would be successful tonight.

Tuvok had entered sickbay a mere ten minutes before and had seen Lt. Torres sitting next to her husband's bed. She was softly speaking to him, and he paused for a minute before he walked over to them. He could see the loving look she gave the pilot as she softly stoked his face. He felt like he was intruding, but she looked up and saw him and just gave him a slight smile.

"Hi Tuvok."

She turned back to Tom and said to him

"Tom, Tuvok is here...he and Chakotay are trying to help you...please Tom...trust them."

The look on Tom's face did not change, but as Tuvok watched he thought he saw something in his eyes. Was it...a spark? He looked deeper, but what ever he thought he saw was gone. He wasn't even sure he'd seen anything, but he hoped he did.

He turned as the doors to sickbay swished open and revealed the Captain and Commander. He left Lt. Torres and walked over to them.

"I am ready Commander."

Chakotay nodded and he went over to a quite place to get ready. The Doctor had already set up a corner of sickbay for them to use. Now he came out of his office, and walked over to the Captain and said

"I'm not sure I agree with this, but at the moment, it's the only thing we can try. I have no answers."

It was obvious that he was worried about Tom. Kathryn laid her hand on his arm and smiled as she said

"I know Doctor, but I'm hoping that Tom's animal guide will give us some options in getting him back."

She turned and watched as B'Elanna took Tom's hand and gently rubbed her cheek against it. A tear came to her eye and trickled down her cheek, but she was not ashamed of the emotions. She treasured her friendship with Tom, and thought of him as a little brother. She would do anything to get him back and knew that if this worked, they would be that much closer.

"I'm ready Tuvok."

They heard Chakotay say, and the three of them moved to where he had set up. The Doctor reached out and place a cortical stimulator on Tuvok's neck and then did the same to Chakotay. Chakotay looked at the Doctor with a surprised look, and Tuvok just raised an eyebrow, but the Doctor said

"I want to monitor your life signs during this...quest."

He had set up a couple of chairs and had pulled out a tricorder.

Chakotay decided to go along with the Doctor. He knew that he was not in favor of this, but at this point it was the only thing they could do.

"Tuvok, just relax and go with the flow."

Chakotay said as he began the chant to reach the spirit world.

Tuvok found himself in a wooded meadow. It was nice, and immediately he felt at peace. It was like nothing he had felt before. He saw Chakotay right next to him, and he motioned him to follow. They walked over to a fallen log, and both sat down. They could hear the sounds of the meadow, and as Chakotay looked up he saw his guide appear out of the trees. She stood there for a moment and seemed to be watching them intently. He waited for her to make a move and after what seemed like hours, she walked over to them and sat down next to Chakotay. She continued to look at Tuvok and finally said, with a bit of amusement in her voice

"The little one is right...he does seem stern."

"He is a Vulcan..."

But before Chakotay could finish, the wolf said

"I know, little one, I know...but if he is to help the child, he must...lighten up a bit."

She finished and again looked at Tuvok.

"I am a Vulcan, and Vulcan's do not show emotion..."

Again before he could finish the she wolf spoke

"It is not bad, but for the little one you must try to not look so...unhappy. He knows it and it frightens him."

Tuvok was at a lost to know what to say next, but the she wolf continued

"Do not be sad...I know you miss your mate and children. It is hard, but to help the child you will need to draw on your inner strength to hide the pain and sorrow."

Tuvok was amazed that she could read him so easily.

"Does it amaze you so that I know of these things?"

"Yes."

"Do not be so amazed..."

She turned her head and both men followed her gaze. They both saw a small black cat hop up on the log and walk over to Tuvok. She laid her head down on his arm and rubbed him and he saw it was the same cat he had seem earlier. The cat looked at him with the bright green eyes and said

"Do I surprise you?"

"No, I just didn't realize I had an animal guide."

Now both the wolf and cat laughed. After a moment, the cat said

"Everyone has a guide, child."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow and then said

"Will we be able to speak with Tom's guide?"

The wolf looked up, and when they looked, they could see a large eagle floating on the air currents. Below the eagle a smaller bird also floated on the currents, and as they gracefully began to descend, the two men saw it was a peregrine falcon. They both came down together and once they landed, the eagle took one wing and wrapped it around the falcon as if to protect it.

"Are you Tom's guide?"

Tuvok asked as he watched the eagle. Both the eagle and falcon watched him and then the eagle said

"Yes, the little one is mine. You wish to help him?"

"Yes, I do, but I have not been able to get him to trust me. What must I do to get him to trust me?"

The eagle looked down at the falcon and then back at Tuvok.

"You frighten the child. You must act like a loving father to him and not as a security officer. Only then will he begin to trust. But he needs the strong one and the soft one to be there too."

"The strong one? The soft one?"

Both Tuvok and Chakotay were confused. Who was he talking of?

"The strong one is you."

The bird was looking at Chakotay. Now the falcon said

"The soft one is his mate."

The falcon looked at the eagle and they both seemed to smile at each other, and Chakotay could swear that it looked like the same expressions that Tom and B'Elanna got when they shared a moment of mutual love.

"That one tried to kill me."

The four animals just laughed and then the eagle looked at Tuvok and said

"Remember, the little one is a child, and he is afraid and lonely. You must treat him as a child till he is ready to come back to being an adult. It will not be easy, but with the help of the strong one and soft one it can be achieved."

The eagle spread his wings and both the birds lifted off and disappeared into the woods.

"The strong one?"

Chakotay couldn't understand why they had called him that. His guide laid her head on his lap and said

"Why does this surprise you? This is the way he sees you. As a child he sees strength and as an adult he looks up to you."

The cat climbed into Tuvok's lap and settled down and said

"He sees you as authority. His childhood was filled with it from his father trying to make him into something he wasn't ready for. As an adult he also respects you and admires you, but as a child he sees only authority and is frighten. That is why you must draw on the fatherly love in you and show him that he can trust you, that you are not trying to change him."

Tuvok nodded as he began to formulate a plan. He looked at the two remaining animals and said

"Thank you for helping me. Thank the other two as well."

"No need to little one...they know."

Again Tuvok nodded and suddenly, they both found themselves back in sickbay.

The Doctor was reading the tricorder, and the Captain said

"Tuvok, Chakotay, How did it go? Were you successful?"

They both looked at their Captain and Chakotay smiled, but Tuvok just had a look on his face that showed determination. When he spoke, she knew that he had already decided on a course of action

"Yes, Captain we were, and I believe that we will now be able to retrieve Mr. Paris."

Over in the other section of sickbay, a feeling of hope and love entered the man on the bed.

_He was floating in the mist, and he felt content. He knew now that they were going to help him. The eagle had told him so and he believed him. He was going to see the soft one soon and that pleased him immensely. Also the strong one would come and he liked that. He would try and trust the other too. He drifted off to sleep as he waited for them to come. He would soon be home._

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_He was just waking up and as he turned, he saw something that he was not sure of. It was someone just out of his sight. At first, he was afraid, but then the eagle was next to him and he felt better. It was not the other, or any one he knew, but seemed familiar. Who was it? It was the lost one, that he somehow knew. But why was he lost? Why did he seem so sad? He looked at the eagle and the eagle said_

"_It is alright, little one, you may speak with the...lost one."_

"_But he seems so lost and sad. Is he here to hurt me?"_

"_No, little one, he is as lost as you are. He needs your help to find his way back to his loved ones."_

_He looked at the eagle and saw the compassion on his face. He reached out and placed a hand on the eagle's neck, who in turn took a wing and wrap it around the small boy. They stood and watched the lost one sit with his head in his hands. He looked so lost and desolate, that he felt sorry for him. Now the eagle took his wing and gently pushed him towards the lost one._

_Slowly, he walked up to him and as he got close enough, he saw that the lost one was softly crying. It made him feel compassion and he reached out to him. When he raised his head, he could see that the lost one had tears in his eyes. As a small child might do he asked_

"_What's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you lost?"_

_The lost one looked up at the child and then wiped his eyes. He noticed that the child had the same intense blue eyes, and for some reason, he seemed familiar. Where had he seen him before? Did he know him? He just couldn't remember. It was all so frustrating. He took a deep breath, and finally said_

"_I'm lost and don't know how to get home. I don't know why I'm here and I just know someone is waiting for me, but I don't know how to get there."_

_He again lowered his head and seem to start to cry again. The small child looked back at the eagle and, seeing the bird motion to him, he came closer and gently sat in the lost one's lap. For a moment, nothing happened, but then the lost one took him in his arms and hugged him tightly like he would never let go. It didn't hurt him, and it actually gave him some peace. The lost one brought the child into an embrace, and both seemed to relax into it. The child placed his arms around the lost one and began singing a soft song. For a moment, nothing happened, but then he pulled the child away and looked deep _into his blue eyes and said

"_I know that song, my mom use to sing it to me when I was little. She was so sweet...I loved her."_

_He drew the child back into an embrace and gently laid his head down on the child's. Together, they both sang the song, and the lost one began rocking the child, and they continued that way. The eagle had joined them and had somehow placed his wings around them both._

It had been three days since Chakotay and Tuvok had their talk with the animal guides. Tuvok had spent most of that time in meditation. He now knew what he would try to get Tom's trust. It would involve a meld with both the Commander and Lt. Torres in the meld with him. He also had drawn on his experience as a father, and would endeavor to not be so...imposing. He realized that had been his first mistake. Once he had ascertained that Mr. Paris had indeed reverted to an earlier age, he should have thought of the way a child would have seen him.

Now he had a plan and they intended to try it tonight at 1900, when all would be ready in sickbay. He was sure they would at least be able to make contact, and he hoped that the eagle would be there too to help calm Mr. Paris. He heard the announcer ring, and he said

"Come in."

The Captain walked in and he rose and offered her a seat.

"Can I get you something Captain?"

She sat and raised her hand and shook her head

"No thank you Tuvok, I've already drank my allotment of coffee for the day."

She gave him a slight smile. He nodded and said

"How may I help Captain?"

She now let the worry show on her face and said

"I'm just worried about Tom. Do you think this will work?"

Tuvok steepled his fingers and said thoughtfully

"I can not say for sure, but I believe that with the help of both the Commander and Lt. Torres, it has a good chance."

She let out the breath that she had been holding and said

"I certainly hope so, as we need Tom back. I'd rather not have to go directly to the planet, as we don't know for sure what they may have done to him, or if they won't do the same to the whole crew. Tom had an escape, but would we all be so lucky to be able to protect ourselves in this type of attack?"

Tuvok was silent for a moment but then said

"I do not know for sure Captain. It would be a devastating thing for anyone to go through. That Mr. Paris was able to survive this is a testimony to his...resiliency."

The Doctor had found out a little of what had happened to Tom. It seemed that someone had used a type of mind scan to extract information from Tom. It had left some damage that the Doctor had only discovered after running a full brain scan on the Lt. How much information they had gotten from him, they were not sure, but it was the Doctor's opinion that when Tom had retreated into himself, they had found that they could get no more info and had sent him out in the flyer and just washed there hand of him. It was lucky that they had found him so soon. The Doctor had estimated that he had only been back a little over an hour before they had found him. It had helped him to repair the damage, but they still needed to get him back.

"Well, I hope that maybe B'Elanna will be able to draw him back."

Kathryn said as she looked out the window at the stars. They were still at all stop and so far all their attempts to contact the inhabitants of the planet had been ignored.

"I do believe that if we can contact Mr. Paris, we will have a good chance to bring him back. But we will need to get to the adult and not the child. I think his wife will be helpful for that."

"Yes, I do too. B'Elanna loves him with all her heart, and if anyone can reach him, it's her."

"But, Captain, it may take more than one contact. I have done some research on similar cases and the key is to get the patients trust. This is something that I'm sure will be hard, as Mr. Paris has very strong...defenses."

She nodded and said with a sigh

"I think it all goes back to his kidnapping as a child. It was a very traumatic experience for a young boy."

He nodded and then said

"From what I have read of the Element, they were very good at...manipulation and torture. They surely used that against him. And because he was the son of Admiral Paris, probably made it worse for him. I'm sure they did not treat him well. Were there any reports of mistreatment, bruises, or anything?"

"No, if they did beat him, they must of used a regenerator on him. But, the doctors at Medical never were able to piece together those three days. We don't know what happened. He may have slipped into that state immediately and when they could not get him to snap out of it, they dropped him off. Or maybe they did beat him and that's what triggered it. I just hope we will be able to get him back with no problems this time."

She shook her head slightly, and Tuvok noticed that she was beginning to get emotional. He changed the direction the conversation was going by saying

"Are you going to be present in sickbay?"

"Yes, I want to be there for moral support."

"Hopefully, we will make some progress tonight."

He could see that the present problem was weighing on all the crew. The pilot had become an intricate part of the crew and many were worried about him. He hoped that they would be able to get some progress tonight.

B'Elanna was sitting next to her husband and was softly speaking to him about the diagnostic they had run this morning on the warp core. She hoped he could hear her. He was laying there just staring at the ceiling. His eyes were opened, and blank. It hurt her to see no life in his eyes. She missed his laughter and his jokes. Oh, sometimes his jokes were lame, but she still laughed at them. He was so cute when he thought that he had gotten her to laugh. She loved him all the more for that.

She had been here since getting off shift, and was waiting for the others to arrive. But right now she had a few moments to just be with him. She leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment. She was tired and she knew that she needed to get some rest, but she just couldn't leave Tom. She knew he'd be upset with her not taking the best of care of herself and the baby, but she just couldn't leave him all alone. Somehow, she just knew he was aware of her presence. She just knew it. If she had been watching him, she would have seen a single tear fall from his eye, and roll down his cheek. She drifted off to sleep, never seeing it.

It was just 1850 when the doors of sickbay opened and Chakotay, Tuvok and the captain walked in. They saw B'Elanna sitting next to Tom's bed with her hand lying gently on his chest. She seemed to be sleeping, so they quietly walked into the Doctor's office. He was doing some reading and looked up as they entered.

"Ah, I see it's time. Lt. Torres has been here for over an hour, but she did fall asleep about thirty minutes ago. I decided she needed the rest."

He got up and walked around the desk and continued

"There is some good news though, When I went to check on both of them, I noticed that Mr. Paris had some tears in his eyes, and he seemed a little...well for a better word, sad. But I think it was something that was happening in his mind, maybe a memory or it could just be his reaction to B'Elanna. But I think that we are getting close to getting him back."

Tuvok now spoke up

"Did he have any facial change or any indication that he was trying to come back to the surface?"

"I did see something, maybe like he was trying to...comfort or calm someone. It might have been again a memory, or it might have actually been him trying to comfort himself. The human brain is a complex part of the body. It possess many ways to make things right. I believe he could be trying to work his way back."

Chakotay was looking at both B'Elanna and Tom and knew he'd do anything to get him back. B'Elanna was like a little sister to him, and he had become to think of Tom as a little brother. He had been surprised to learn that Tom thought of him as a 'strong one' He hoped he'd never let him down and knew he would have to do all he could to gain Tom's trust.

Tuvok now spoke and said

"We will need to get another chair for the Commander, I will initiate the meld and then I will touch the Commander to bring him into the meld. You will only need to hold on to Lt. Torres' hand to bring her in."

The Doctor brought another chair over to the bio bed, and set it down next to B'Elanna. She stirred and woke and then realized that they were getting ready for the meld. Chakotay laided his hand on her shoulder and asked

"How are you doing?"

She smiled at him and said

"I'm tired, but I'll do anything to get Tom back."

He nodded and then looked at Tuvok as he prepared for the meld. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, but he knew he'd do anything to help both Tom and B'Elanna. He looked up at Tuvok who seemed to be ready to start.

_He was waiting because he knew they were coming. The lost one was hiding in the shadows, but he knew he was there too. The eagle was standing between the child and the lost one. He knew the lost one was a little afraid he could hear the fear in his breathing, but he also knew that the eagle would help him. Now he stood and waited. He turned and said to the lost one_

"_Don't worry, the strong one and the soft one are also coming. We will be okay."_

_The grin he flashed to the lost one seemed to work. He could see that he relaxed, but still refused to come out of the shadows. He turned back and watched as they all appeared, the other in the background. He got a thoughtful look on his face as he watched the other very closely. He seemed different. He didn't look so scary right now. He thought about that for a moment and then decided that he seemed more calm. Maybe the eagle was right, maybe he wasn't so bad. He looked at the face of the strong one and decided he liked him. Somehow he knew he could depend on the strong one. And then there was the soft one...He really liked the soft one. The feelings he got when he looked at the soft one was something he couldn't name, but he knew he like those feelings. _

_They came closer and B'Elanna saw the small boy standing there. She wanted to run to him and scoop him up in her arms, but knew she couldn't. They stopped about ten feet away, and the three of them looked at the small boy. He just stood there at looked back. Then, he looked into the soft one's eyes and gave her a small smile. She suddenly sank to her knees and began softly crying, as she said_

"_Oh Tom, please come back...come home."_

_He gave her a worried look and thought. Am I Tom? It sounded familiar to him. He looked around at the lost one whom he heard crying too. Was he sad that the soft one was crying? Did he like the soft one too? He saw the eagle wrap his wings around the lost one just as he did for him. He knew that the bird was talking to the lost one and knew that it would be alright. He turned back to the soft one and felt the sorrow and without thinking about it, he walked over to the soft one and hesitantly reached over and touched the soft one._

_B'Elanna felt the small hand touch her and she looked up into the brilliant blue eyes. Tom's eyes. She saw the concern and compassion in the small child's face. She just cried more and the child said_

"_Please don't cry...it will be okay."_

_She wiped her eyes and smiled at him and said._

"_I know, it's just that I miss...Tom."_

"_Is Tom your little boy?"_

_He asked so sweetly that she had to smile at him_

"_No Tom is my husband. I miss him very much and want him to come home to me and our baby."_

_She laid her hand on the baby, and he looked down and saw that she had a small bump in her tummy. He seemed quite interested and said_

"_Oh, can I touch the baby?"_

_She smiled and nodded, and he gently touched her. He could feel the small bump, and was intently looking at it. He looked up at her and said_

"_There's really a baby in there?"_

_Chakotay, who was standing behind B'Elanna with Tuvok and just smiled at the innocence of youth._

"_Yes sweetie, there is."_

_B'Elanna just smiled at him and he said_

"_My mommy always called me sweetie. I like you."_

_He climbed into her lap and snuggled down with his head on her breast. _

"_You're soft."_

_He said as he trailed his fingers on her arm. For a moment, she just sat there and then with a sigh of contentment, she wrapped her arms around him and just hugged him. Both Tuvok and Chakotay didn't say anything for a few minutes as they didn't want to interrupt the interaction between the two. They both looked so right together. _

_Finally, Tuvok spoke softly_

"_Tom, are you ready to come home?"_

_The small boy raised his head and studied the other. He didn't look so scary so he said_

"_I can't right now...the lost one isn't ready."_

_He laid his head back down and closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The soft one smelled very good and he liked it. Now the strong one spoke_

"_The lost one? Who is the lost one?'_

_The small child looked over his shoulder and said_

"_He's over there with the eagle. He's still afraid to come out."_

_They looked in that direction and saw the figure of a man huddled in the shadows. They couldn't see his face, but they were sure it was the adult Tom. B'Elanna looked at the figure and reached out a hand and said_

"_Tom please come home, we need you. I need you and our daughter needs you."_

_They heard a sob, but the figure did not move. The small child looked at the lost one and then looked at the soft one._

"_Do you want the lost one to come home?"_

_She looked down at the angelic face and said_

"_Yes sweetie I do. I love him."_

_The small child's face lit up and he gave her a megawatt smile as he said_

"_I'll help, and the eagle will help."_

_He got up off her lap and then gave her a kiss on her cheek as he said_

"_Come back tomorrow, and he will be ready...I'll talk to him."_

_He began to back away from her, and she wanted so much to grab him and hold on to him, but he just kept backing away. Chakotay and Tuvok helped her up and when they looked again at the boy, he was standing next to the man and had wrapped his arms around the man's neck. They saw the man immediately wrap his arms around the boy, and began to rock him, the eagle now wrapping both his wings around them both. They were then covered with a thick mist and could no longer be seen. _

_The next thing any of them knew, they were all back in sickbay. But, there was a smile on Tom Paris' face, the same angelic smile the small boy had shown them._

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_The lost one was now sitting in the mist and watching the people as they left. He felt he should know them. They looked familiar, but he couldn't think of the names. He got mad at himself and shook his head. Why couldn't he remember? What was wrong with him? The small boy was now sitting in his lap, and seemed content to just cuddle with him. This gave him a peaceful feeling and he sighed as he looked down at the small boy._

_The eagle was next to him and said quietly_

"_It is almost time for you to go home...both of you."_

_The boy and man looked at the eagle for a moment before the man said_

"_How? How do we go home?"_

"_You will know when the time comes."_

_Was all the eagle said. The small boy looked up at the man and said _

"_Will we go together? Is our home in the same place?"_

_The eagle seem to get a loving look on his face as he looked into the blue eyes. _

"_Little one, your home is with the lost one, but not in his time."_

_The lost one thought for a moment before he said as he looked down at the boy and then back at the eagle._

"_This is me isn't it? This is the boy I was."_

_The eagle gave him a wise smile as he nodded_

"_Yes, little one. He is the boy you were before you were kidnapped as a boy. He has been trying to keep you safe, and he has been successful. He will go home when you decide you are ready."_

_The lost one tighten his hold on the boy and said with some fear in his voice_

"_I'm not ready. If I go, I'll have to deal with the Impara, and I can't let them know how to build star ships. They tried to get the information from me, but when I didn't tell them what they wanted to know, they hurt me."_

_He shrunk back into the shadows and clung to the small boy._

"_I can't go now, if I do, they will find me and make me give them the information they want...I can't...have to protect everyone."_

"_Do not worry, you are safe with your family and friends and they will protect you."_

_The eagle knew that his charge was getting agitated. He moved closer and laid his head down on the lost one's arm. This was going to be hard. It was clear that he still held the pain of the mind scan used on him. He seemed to relax slightly at what the eagle had done, and now the small boy said_

"_Why are you afraid? The strong one can protect you and the soft one...she's nice and will do anything to help you."_

_The child looked up at his older self and saw the battle that was raging in the lost one's blue eyes. He clearly wanted to go home and be with his family and friends, but was not sure if he could._

"_I'll help you. I can be with you when they come back."_

_The look on his face was one of determination. It made the lost one feel good to see his younger self so determined. A small grin lifted the corners of his lips. He now remembered how his mom use to say how he could get an idea in his head and never let it go. Maybe he was safe? Maybe the aliens couldn't get to him? Maybe the strong one whoever he was could protect him? And the soft one...he knew he should know who that was...but he couldn't remember. A single tear fell from his eyes as he took and hugged the boy who hugged him back. The eagle just watched._

B'Elanna was exhausted and was laying down in their quarters. She kept thinking about the meld and seeing Tom as a child. He was so cute, and she could imagine him being able to get his way with most anyone. He had bright blue eyes and that smile...it was all Tom Paris. It was his smile. Tears started to fall, and she brushed them away. She knew that they would get him back, but she didn't know when.

She thought of the boy Tom and smiled. He was just as she had imagined him at that age. He had a mop of blond curls and the most beautiful blue eyes that had so much life in them. With that thought, she again had to wipe tears away. His eyes now held no life or sparkle. She wanted him back so much.

She laid her hands on her stomach and thought of their child. The Doc had told them it was a little girl, but she thought what a small Tom would be like. She hoped he would resemble the young Tom, with a mass of golden curls and that same angelic face. She thought of him having brown eyes like her. She knew that all their children would inherit her forehead ridges, but she knew that all on Voyager would not treat their children as she had been treated. She had, with the help of Tom, come to terms with their daughter having forehead ridges, and she had tried to remove the Klingon DNA, but Tom had finally convinced her that it would be wrong.

Now she was at peace with who and what their daughter would be. Her daughter would be loved and cherished by both her parents and would have many loving aunt's and uncle's. She finally drifted off to sleep, thinking of a little boy who looked just like Tom and the life they would have with both a daughter and son.

Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting in the mess hall and quietly talking over a dessert that Neelix had saved for them. It was surprisingly good, tasting a little like butterscotch pudding. Chakotay took his last bite and said

"It's not bad really, kind of like butterscotch pudding."

Kathryn nodded as she finished her's

"But, I don't want to know what's in it."

Chakotay nodded and replied

"Neither do I."

They both looked at each other for a minute before Chakotay chuckled. She smiled, and pushed her dish away from her. She looked out the port and just got a far away look on her face. Finally Chakotay said

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He raised his eyebrow at her and she let out a breath she had been holding. She looked at her first officer and friend and said

"I'm still worried about Tom."

Chakotay nodded but said

"I think we made progress today. He came to B'Elanna and actually sat in her lap. He was so...cute."

He sort of dipped his head at the last statement, but Kathryn just reached out her hand and laid it on his. She smiled at him as she said

"He was pretty darn cute as a lanky sixteen year old too."

Chakotay looked up with a puzzled look on his face. She patted his hand and continued

"I first met him at the Admiral's and he was late for dinner. When he finally showed up, his dad took him to task for being late. The Admiral grounded him for two weeks when he turned and looked at me and then said 'Who's the pretty Ensign?' Chakotay couldn't help it and laughed.

"That sounds like the old Tom Paris!"

"I had a hard time keeping a straight face...so did his mother, but the Admiral was livid and sent him to his room, without dinner. He ran his home like a starship."

Chakotay now shook his head. Some of Tom's behavior was becoming more understandable.

"Well, I think we have a good chance to get him back. He just needs to trust us. We actually saw the adult Tom, but he would not come out. But his younger self felt sure that he could talk him into it. I hope that is just Tom trying to come back to us."

"Then maybe we can find out what really happened."

" Lets hope. I not sure I want to take Voyager to that planet either."

He knew how she felt about the planet inhabitants. Even thought they had been hanging out here for almost a week, all of their attempts to contact them had gone unanswered. As they sat there, they were interrupted by the comm.

"Kim to Captain Janeway..we are getting an incoming transmission from the planet, a Mr. Partic is wanting to speak to our...leader."

Both the Captain and Chakotay were already on their way as she acknowledged the comm and said

"We're on our way."

They entered the turbolift and within seconds they were on the bridge. They both went to the command area, Chakotay to take his seat and the Captain to stand in front of the screen. Before she turned to Mr. Kim to activate the screen, she instinctively placed her hands on her hips in her usual 'Captain' pose. She then turned and said

"On screen"

The view screen came to life with an odd looking humanoid on the screen. He seemed to be of average height, but his skin was a pale orange. It almost reminded her of the color of...no she wasn't going there. The eyes were a black and she could not see any pupil at all, just a deep black abyss. He gave her the chills. He opened his mouth and she saw a row of sharp teeth that looked like that of a crafty tiger.

"Ah, are you the Captain?"

He was purring, but he still gave her the creeps. She drew herself up to her tallest and said

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager, how may I help you?"

The alien shifted slightly in his seat as if he were uncomfortable and said

"Captain, we have been watching you now for a while and were wondering if you needed help, you have not moved."

He seemed nervous and was having a hard time sitting still. He also seemed to be casting looks off to his side, as if looking at someone not visible.

"We have stayed here because we recovered a crewman who has been injured. His shuttle was pulled away from us and he was missing for ten days. We finally found him in that shuttle in this area. We have also traced the displacement wave to your planet."

She paused for a moment to let the point sink in. He was apparently sweating if that was possible. She continued

"You wouldn't know anything about it would you?"

She looked straight at the screen. He seemed to twist in his chair, and look to his left. Then he turned back and said a little too quick

"We have no knowledge of your crewman and forbid you to come any closer to our planet. If you do, we will fight back."

The Captain turned to Harry and had him mute the audio. She then turned to Tuvok and said

"Tuvok, what is the status of their weapons?"

"They are no match for us, Captain, they possess only rudimentary lasers, and our shields would hold."

She nodded and turned back to Harry and indicated to continue the audio. She turned back to the screen and said as she again pulled herself to her full height.

"Mr. Partic, we have scanned your defenses and it seems that you would not be able to do harm to this ship."

He was about to object but she held up her hand and continued

"But, we have no intention to come closer to your planet."

He seemed to relax, and a smirk came on his face as he said

"I glad we understand each other."

He continued to smirk, and Kathryn finally said with disdain

"IF you try to send out a displacement wave again directed at this ship or any shuttles we may launch, we WILL defend ourselves. Do I make myself clear?"

The face of the alien suddenly showed fear and he said

"Of course Captain, we only want to get along with others..."

Before he could continue, she turned to Harry and indicated to cut transmission, which he did...gladly.

You could cut the tension and dislike on the bridge with a knife. Everyone had a scowl on their faces, and Pablo Baytart, who was at the helm said a little louder than he intended

"What a jerk!"

He immediately turned to face the command team and said

"Sorry Captain."

He looked embarrassed, but he only got smiles from both the Captain and Commander. He and Tom had gotten quite close, and he was actually second to Tom at the helm. They had spent much time in the holodeck running flight sims for the last couple years.

"No problem Mr. Baytart, you just stated everyone's feelings that all."

Chakotay had a big grin on his face as he watched the red spread up the helmsman's neck. Harry could be heard chuckling from his post.

The intercom bleeped and the voice of the Doctor came on

"Doctor to the bridge, Captain, I think it's time to try another attempt to draw Mr. Paris home. We can try again in fifteen minutes."

Kathryn let out a breath and said

"Thank you Doctor, we'll be right down."

She turned to Mr. Kim and said

"Harry, you have the bridge."

She turned to both Tuvok and Chakotay and said

"Gentleman, shall we go?"

Both men followed her into the turbolift as Harry took the big chair, hoping beyond hope that they would have Tom back tonight.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The doors to sickbay opened to the three officers from the bridge and they walked into the room. B'Elanna was already there,sitting next to Tom. He seemed to be sleeping, his eyes closed. The Doctor was waiting for them. When he heard the doors open, he turned and said

"Captain, everything is ready."

He turned to Tuvok and asked

"Do you need some time to prepare?"

Tuvok said

"I will only need a few moments to prepare, Doctor."

He walked over to the head of the bio bed and stood, closing his eyes for a moment. Chakotay came and sat next to B'Elanna and smiled at her as he asked

"How are you holding up?"

He could see the dark circles under her eyes and knew she had not been getting enough rest. She let out a breath and said softly

"I'm fine. I just need my husband back safe and sound."

He gave her a hug and replied

"We'll get him back."

Now the Captain placed her hand on her shoulder and said

"B'Elanna, he'll be alright. I think he's ready to come home."

B'Elanna looked up at her Captain, a woman she sometimes thought of as a mother figure and reached up and took the hand that lay on her shoulder in much the same way she did with Tom on the bridge and smiled

"I know...it's just that I'm afraid he'll be..."

Before she could finish her thought, Tuvok indicated he was ready for the meld. Chakotay took one of B'Elanna's hands in his and looked at Tuvok. He had begun the meld and his fingers found the points on Tom's face, and as he began the words, he took his other hand and touched Chakotay's face...

_They found themselves walking down a long corridor and the mist was swirling around their feet. There was an eery silence, as if they were in a bubble. All they could see was the mist, and shadows. B'Elanna involuntarily shivered, and she felt Chakotay's hand tighten on her's. They were walking side by side, and Tuvok seemed content to bring up the rear. They slowly made their way down the corridor. _

_The boy was standing next to the man and watching intently into the mist. He looked up at his older self and felt a little fear illuminating from him. He reached up and took the man's hand and said softly_

"_Don't be afraid."_

_He smiled up at him and then turned his head back to watch for the one's he knew were coming. He finally thought he saw movement and looked harder into the mist, but could not see anyone. _

_The mist seemed to thicken and rise, and he looked at the man and said_

"_Why are you making the mist thicker, they will not be able to find us if you continue."_

"_I'm afraid and don't think I can do this."_

_Was all he replied. He started to edge back into the shadows, but the boy would not let him go far. He took his hand and tugged and said_

"_No, you can do this...It's time to go home."_

_The man looked down at the boy and saw that same determined look on his face. For a moment he just looked, but then he seemed to deflate slightly, and the mist began to dissipate. _

_B'Elanna was having a problem seeing in all the mist that had begun to swirl around her. _

_She could barely see Chakotay, and Tuvok was not in sight. She knew both were there with her, but the thought of being lost in all this was a little unsettling. She turned to where she thought Chakotay was and said_

"_This mist has gotten thicker. I can not see very well."_

_She heard Tuvok behind her say_

"_I believe Mr. Paris is putting up one of his defenses. The mist has suddenly gotten worse. We will need to tread gently. I believe that if we startle him, he will draw back and we may never get him back."_

_B'Elanna shivered in spite of herself as she thought of Tom...her Tom. She so wanted to get him back and the thought of him never seeing their daughter was something she didn't want to contemplate. Silently she reached out to him in thought and said_

"_Tom, honey, please come back to me...to us...we need you."_

_She felt a small tickle at the back of her mind, and she was sure that her thought had reached him._

_They continued to walk and suddenly, the mist began to thin and dissipate. They were able to see into the distance again and after a moment, they saw the two figures standing a little ways in front of them. The boy was next to the man, but the man was completely in the shadows. They could not see him clearly. The boy was in front and as he began to take a step forward, the man tried to pull him back to him. _

_The three officers had stopped and as they watched, the boy turned and began speaking to the man. It was clear that he was trying to calm the man and reassure him. They seemed to converse for a few more minutes, and then the boy turned towards the adults, and took a couple of steps towards them. He turned once more to look at the man, who had taken a step back. He was barely visible. The boy again said something to him, and the man nodded. He looked at the three people who stood there, but made no more move to hide._

_Now the boy took off at a run and came up directly to B'Elanna and hugged her tightly. She bend down and scooped him up into her arms and hugged him back, as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. He quickly put his arms around her neck and snuggled his head into her neck, and breathed in her unique scent. It was so familiar, but he didn't know why. All he knew was it was right...and it was home._

_He finally pulled back and, noticing her tears, he took his hand and in the way that the adult Tom did, he gently stroked her face and said _

"_Don't cry Lanna...I love you."_

_She was surprised as she looked at the boy...It was her Tom's voice and her Tom's eyes looking into her's. She was so touched she just smiled at him and said_

"_Come home, Tom...please."_

_The boy smiled that patent Tom Paris smile and looked back at the man. He turned back to B'Elanna and said_

"_He's still afraid, but I know he's ready. I need to go get him."_

_She didn't want to let him go, but finally she did and he got up and went to the man who was still standing in the shadows. He took his hand and began to lead him out. He took a couple of steps, but then stopped. The boy looked up and said_

"_You must. She misses you and needs you. You are her strength and she needs to have you at her side."_

_He looked back at her and waved at her with that childish grin on his face. She waved back and tried to not look her usual Klingon self as she hoped that he would come to her. The man looked at her and something seem to register with him. He knew her, and the two men who stood there. They were his friends weren't they? He should know their names, but it didn't come to him. He was upset with himself as he realized that he didn't remember their names. This was silly, he KNEW them and he couldn't remember their names. He looked at the boy and said_

"_Why don't I remember their names? Why don't I remember their names?"_

_He seemed angry at himself for not remembering, but the boy took his hand and gently began to pull him towards the group as he said_

"_You will, I promise...now come on, it's time to go home."_

_He began to walk towards them and after a moment, the man hesitantly followed after him, their hands clasped together. Once he was out of the shadows, the three officers could see every feature of his face. He looked tired and scared and there was apprehension showing in his eyes. But there was also a longing there and as he came closer, he seemed to look only at B'Elanna. It was as if he were drinking in every aspect of her. The look of longing turned to a look of awareness and then deep love as he now stood in front of her, the boy next to him. _

_For a moment, all he could do was look at her, the soft one and then ever so slowly, he reached for her and took her into his arms and breathed in her scent. She was his..._

"_B'Elanna?"_

_He said ever so softly_

"_Lanna...I've missed you so...please...take me home?"_

_B'Elanna was hugging him tightly and through her tears she said to him_

"_I will my love...I will."_

_He just stood there and held her tightly and both cried as they clung to each other, none of them noticed the boy back away into the mist and disappear. _

The Doctor saw that B'Elanna suddenly moved closer to the bio bed and as she did, Tom sat up and reached for her. They embraced each other and both began to cry. Tuvok had broken the meld, and now they all watched as the two were crying and they heard Tom say

"I want to come home...please Lanna, take me home."

"Tom, you are home with all of us. We love you."

Tom just snuggled deeper into her neck and said

"Don't ever leave me Lanna...I don't know what I'd do if you did."

She was now rocking him as a mother would and stoking his head as she said

"I will never leave you...I love you."

The others quietly moved to the Doctor's office so the two could be alone. Once there, the Doctor said

"Well, it seems that Mr. Paris is back."

He turned to Tuvok and said

"Well done, Mr. Tuvok, I'm glad you were able to bring him back."

He turned a worried eye to the two who were still in a tight embrace and said

"I need to check Mr. Paris over but..."

He trailed off and they all knew that even though his medical side wanted to examine his patient, his friend side was wanting to give the two some time to reunite.

"But I guess that can wait."

The Captain looked at her two officers and said

"Thank you both for helping to get him back."

She was watching the two out in the main part of sickbay. They were still in that embrace and she knew it would be a while before they would end it. B'Elanna was still rocking him and it was a picture of true love and trust that they radiated out. Tears came to her eyes as she watched, and as quickly as they came, she brushed them away. Tuvok now spoke

"It was really all the Lt.'s doing, once the child in him was able to convince the adult to come home, he came willingly."

Chakotay nodded and said

"He came right to B'Elanna and once he was standing there he seemed to want to return."

"It was quite remarkable how the child had so much influence over the adult."

Tuvok was pondering as he looked at the Captain. She just smiled and replied

"I think that there is very much of that child inside of him still, the one that existed before the kidnapping and who saw the world as a child would...perfect and peaceful."

Tuvok was silent for a moment as he contemplated that then he nodded and said

"Indeed, Captain, I believe you are right. It is a side of the Lt. that I'd like to know better. Now, if I may, I am returning to my quarters to meditate on this further."

He inclined his head to them all and and left sickbay only pausing a moment to look at the two Lt.'s over on the bio bed. Then he left.

"Well, I hate to bother them, but I must check on Mr. Paris' condition."

The Doctor got up from his chair and with tricorder in hand he left his office to go check on his patient. He walked up to them and after a moment he said

"Mr. Paris, I need to check you over."

Tom raised his head and looked at the Doctor. He was still emotional, but no longer crying, but the look of life in his eyes made the Doctor smile. Tom looked at B'Elanna and then laid back down on the bio bed.

"Sure Doc."

His voice sounded rough from non use and B'Elanna went to the replicator and got him a large glass of his favorite juice. The Doctor ran the tricorder over him and then checked his readings.

"Other than extreme stress and fatigue, you seem to be in good health, but I insist that you stay here at least for twenty four hours so I can keep an eye on you."

Tom had been looking like he was getting ready to leave, and now the look on his face showed irritation and disappointment

"Come on Doc, do I have to?"

Now B'Elanna stepped in and said as she handed the glass to him which he gratefully took a long swig of the juice.

"Yes you must. I want to make sure you're completely well."

He looked from the Doc to Lanna and finally, he sighed and nodded.

"Okay..okay, I'll stay but only for that twenty four hours...no longer."

He gave the Doc a look that meant that he was not staying any longer than he needed to. He then turned to Lanna and said

"Will you stay with me?"

He gave her that puppy dog look that she could never refuse, and she caved in to him.

"Of course I will. I've been here almost constantly anyway."

And the smile that lit up his face was bright enough to power the warp core for a long time.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Tom was resting in sickbay with B'Elanna sitting in the chair next to him when the Doctor came out of his office to check on him. He looked much better,but still his color was pale. The Doctor was also a little worried about B'Elanna. She had been in sickbay almost non stop since they had recovered the pilot and even though he had tried to get her to rest, she refused to leave. Only Mr. Kim had been able to get her to leave. She had gone to their quarters to freshen up but would always return to sit by her husband.

Now he walked over to them and began running his tricorder over his patient. Without opening his eyes, Tom said

"Find anything Doc?"

His voice was almost back to normal and the Doctor looked at the man in the bio bed and said

"With you, Mr. Paris, I'm always surprised."

They had so easily fallen back to the old banter that they both seemed to enjoy. B'Elanna just smiled as she watched the two. They were always trying to get the upper hand with each other and the crew loved watching it. She knew Tom loved to needle the Doc, and she was sure that the Doc loved to needle Tom. It was a friendship that was akin to brothers. A relationship that Tom shared with few people. Harry and Tom were like brother's and the Doc, even though he was a hologram, was also included in that relationship. It seemed that both Tom and Harry loved to tease the Doc. And he always fell into it, but B'Elanna suspected that the Doc did it on purpose. She had seen the worried look he had given Tom during this episode and knew he cared deeply for her husband. It made her happy and her smile widen.

"And Lanna, you can wipe that goofy grin off your face, the Doc is starting to irk me."

She looked at Tom, who was still in the same position and still had his eyes closed. How did he do that? He had a knack of knowing what she was feeling and doing without even looking at her. Sometimes it unnerved her. She heard the Doc snort, something he had picked from her husband and she narrowed her eyes.

"Tom Paris, how do you do that?"

He opened one eye and looked at his wife and grinned before he said

"Because I know you so well...you always get that goofy grin on your face when the Doc and I start to..."

Before he could finish the Doc said

"Argue...disagree...banter...?"

Tom now opened both eyes and looked at the Doc and continued

"You know, Doc, we never disagree...argue..."

Again before he could finish he heard both Lanna and the Doc snort. Tom just smiled and looked smug.

At that moment, the doors to sickbay opened and interrupted the conversation as Harry walked in, a big smile on his face. He was so happy his best friend was back and he wanted to be with him. He had left them alone last night so they could reconnect, but now, he wanted to see Tom. He came over and said

"Tom, so glad to have you back, buddy."

Tom smiled up at his best friend and said

"Glad to be back, Har. Missed you all while I was out of it."

He reached over and took Lanna's hand. It was so good to feel her so close, and he smiled to himself as he thought of the small boy in him thinking of her as the soft one, but as he thought about it, it was as he always thought of her, soft and loving. He'd never say it out loud in front of anyone but her, but she was his soft one.

"Well, Mr. Paris, you're doing well and after the Captain has gotten your report, you are free to go home..."

Tom looked expectantly at the Doc, who held up his hand and continued

"But, you are to go to your quarters and rest! You will be off duty for the next seventy two hours. No holodeck, is that understood?"

Tom visibly deflated and then said

"Sure Doc, anything you say.."

The Doc looked at his patient and sighed, as he said

"Just try to humor me, hum?"

"Sure Doc, besides I can think of a lot of stuff I can do with my sweet Lanna for seventy two hours."

He waggled his eyebrows at her as she gave him the 'death glare' and Harry blushed. The Doc said

"No strenuous activities either, you both need rest."

He turned on his heels and went back to his office, muttering under his breath. Both Tom and Harry watched and then Tom started to laugh.

"I just love throwing him a curve."

"Tom, you're incorrigible!"

Harry was now laughing with him and even B'Elanna was smiling. This was how the three commanding officers found them as they entered sickbay. Both Kathryn and Chakotay smiled at the three and Tuvok just raised his eyebrow at them. They came over and Harry almost busted his gut as he straighten into a more erect posture, but Tom just laughed harder as he saw his friend's reaction to the Captain. Harry would never change.

"Relax Ensign, before you pull something out of wack."

Chakotay said as he smiled at the younger man. Harry let out the breath he was holding and relaxed. The Captain laid her hand on Tom's shoulder and said

"Tom, how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing good, Captain, and the Doc said I can go home soon."

"I know how you are looking forward to that."

They all knew how much Tom hated being in sickbay.

"I would like to get a report on your experience Tom, if you're up to it."

The Captain looked at B'Elanna and she saw a slight nod, and Tom said

"Sure, Captain, I think I can remember it all."

They looked at their pilot as he took a breath and then he began

"I was just running the scan on the anomaly, when I felt a jolt, then there was a bright light and I guess I sort of blacked out.."

He looked at the three and seemed to think back.

"I woke and found myself in a room and was restrained. When they came in, they seemed very interested in the Flyer. Wanted to know everything about the technology. They are called the 'Impara' and the only technology they have is a rudimentary communications and weapons system. They wanted the whole information on how to build and maintain a fleet of ships. They said they were going to keep me to teach them the technology. I told them I would not stay and would not help them. They got very upset and used some type of electrical shock to punish me..."

He trailed off as he remember the jolts of electricity running through his body. It had been bad and gone on for days, and he was ashamed to admit that if it had continued much longer, he was not sure he could have endured more. The look of shock and anger that came to the faces around him were of differencing degrees. The Captain was anger that one of her crew had been tortured. Chakotay was upset that he had been subjected to it, probably thinking of some of the atrocities that the Cardassians had performed. Tuvok had a frown on his face and for a Vulcan that frown said volumes.

Harry was unnerved that his friend had gone through such treatment, and B'Elanna had her Klingon anger riled and had a look of a woman who wanted to rip someone apart. She gripped his hand a little tighter, but in a way that told him that she was ready to go and revenge him. It actually made him feel better that she was here with him now.

"Anyway, I refused to tell them anything, and then on the ninth day, the head guy, I think his name was Partic..."

The Captain raised her eyebrows and said

"Yes, he did contact us after we had recovered you and threaten us if we came any closer. Very distasteful person..."

She made a face to communicate her distaste.

"He said they had no knowledge of you or the missing Flyer."

Tom shook his head and continued

"He was in charge of the interrogation. In fact, it was his idea that they use the 'treatment' on me as it was called. They tried to extract the information from my head"

Even though he knew he was safe, he still shuddered a bit at the memory.

"So, you retreated into yourself as a defense mechanism to protect yourself as you did when you were a little boy and had been kidnapped."

This came from Tuvok, but then Tom jerked and looked at the Vulcan and said

"How did you know about that? It has been classified since it happened."

Tom seemed agitated that this had been said.

"Mr. Paris, we discovered the the information through medical files. It said you had been abducted when you were nine and when they found you three days later you had withdrawn. It took them several weeks to get you back."

Now Tom had a hunted look on his face as he began to remember the incident. He had been nine and was walking home from school when he had been grabbed by several large men. He began to relate the story aloud without realizing it

"They grabbed me as I was walking home from school. I was suppose to have waited for the Star Fleet security officer that had been assigned to me. The terror group had made threats to Star Fleet and my dad, but I thought that it was just another way for my dad to try and control me...I decided to sneak out a little early... I should of waited but I thought I could do anything...They shoved me into the shuttle and put a hood over my head...I never saw them. They tied me up and threw me into a small closet...it was dark, and with the hood over my head it seemed even darker...I was afraid and could hear them talking about what they were going to do to me...I just went away...retreated into my mind...went to my special place..."

The Doctor had now joined them and had heard the story, and he also was angry. So much horror for a young boy to have.

"When they found me, I guess I was like you found me. They didn't know how to help me, but after several weeks, my mom was sitting with me and she was crying...I felt so bad that I had made her unhappy...I wanted to come home so..."

There were now tears in his eyes and they fell down his face, but he didn't care. He looked up at his Lanna and said

"I'm so sorry I put you through the same pain and anguish I did my mom...forgive me Lanna?"

She looked at him with the love of the universe in her eyes as she too was crying and said

"Oh Tom, It wasn't you fault either time. You did what you needed to do to protect yourself."

She hugged him and he clung to her...his soft one.

"I think we have enough, Tom, Now I also want you and B'Elanna to go home and rest."

The Captain was near tears herself and even Chakotay looked a little affected at what he'd just heard.

"Thanks, Captain."

Tom's voice was soft and he was tired all of a sudden. He was glad he would be able to go and spend time with his beloved Lanna. He stood with some help from Harry and turned to the others.

"Thanks, all of you for coming for me..."

With that, he walked out of sickbay with his wife and best friend helping him.

It had been seven months since Tom had been held by the Impara, and he was back to normal. He was sitting in their quarters holding a small bundle and softly singing. B'Elanna had been back to Engineering only for week now, and he was alone in their quarters. He was holding their new daughter, Miral. She was lovely, just like her mother. She had her mother's hair color and a sight hint of the forehead ridges, but she had Tom's blue eyes and his nose. Lanna said she also had his smile, but he hadn't seen that yet. Besides, a baby's smile was always gas... right? He was hopelessly in love with his daughter. He now was singing to her and she was sleepily looking into his eyes. He stopped singing and said

"Hey, little munchkin, I'm your daddy, and I am going to protect you till you learn how to protect yourself..."

He looked at her and she seemed to be listening to him. He smiled as he continued

"And mommy will protect you with her 'scary' Klingon faces."

He made a funny face at her and her eyes seemed to widen a bit. He chuckled and started to sing again, a loving, goofy look on his face. He never knew that his wife had entered and was now watching her husband and daughter and thinking how much she loved them both.

None of them knew that a Bald Eagle, a Peregrine Falcon, and a baby Chick were also watching .

The End.

**Hope you liked it. I'm sorry this last chapter took so long. I've begun the H&R Block tax course, and have tax laws running amok in my brain. I have also started a Chuck Fanfic and I knew I needed to finish this one. The one thing that irks me the most is an unfinished story! Thanks to all who read and reviewed it is greatly appreciated.**


End file.
